Happy Chinese New Year!

Gung Hei Fat Choi!!! That means happy chinese new year, fatty. It's a great day for news!! Oh yes, lots of news to write about today. We'll start with the most important. Britney Spears bought a new ipod today to listen to in her cell. The ipod suits her well because maybe listening to music will inspire her, and also because the white ipod would match her straight jacket. Britney Spears is very fashion conscious - on that note, Kate Moss is expected to appear in court under charges of sexual assault and battery against a tree. She apparently battered and sexually assaulted the tree for six days straight before catwalking in front of her majesty the Queen. In other news, her majesty the Queen has found an unsettling lump beneath her breast.

As for showbiz news, third world countries are still poor and Iraq isn't close to how we picture it in our heads.

Thats all for this minute, check later for more MR NEWS NEWS!